


Lillies and Bengonias

by 13ineedpills13



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Gen, Past Sexual Abuse, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23811967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/13ineedpills13/pseuds/13ineedpills13
Summary: After having a fight with Lucifer and getting kicked out, Asmodeus reflects on his past and finds comfort in his friend's arms.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 57





	Lillies and Bengonias

"Being called a whore constantly isn't a good thing. That much is obvious.

But when it's your eldest brother that says that word to your face, it kind of hurts."

Asmodeus writes down these words and closes his journal, putting it aside. He lets himself plop down to Solomon's bed and roll around for a while.

Lots of things have happened today. He woke up late, almost fell down the stairs because Belphie left a stuffed animal on the floor, almost got hus new clothed ruined... And honestly, he was tired of living a life that's shitty as this. 

He knew these were pretty mild inconviniences, but these effected him more than usual, that and all the stuff that happened with Lucifer a few hours ago made him even more sick of being alive. But the worst part is; he couldn't end it. He was a demon, and was immortal. A simple slice through the wrist or swallowing a bottle of pills wasn't going to do anything. "...It would've been much easier to live as a human... Ugh. I want to puke. Solomoooooon, get out of the bath already! I've been waiting for you for 30 minutes now!"

"I'm trying to avoid you." Came Solomon's muffled voice.

"How mean~" Asmodeus says and buries his face inside of Solomon's pillow. It smells just like him... A smell that is kind of hard to explain, but still soothing. The act of burying his face onto someone else's pillow always reminded him of something nostalgic for some reason... 

Oh, that's right. He used to steal Lucifer's pillows whenever he had a nightmare and sleep while hugging it. His brother was always busy, so he wasn't home too much... He smiled when he remembered how Leviathan would try and fix his bed, since he was way too small and clumsy back then. But Asmodeus would never let him be and always jump on the bed, demanding to play with him. 

Those were really simple days indeed... 

\--

Lucifer had caught him sneaking out to meet with an incubus again. It was the 3rd time he did it this week.

Normally, Lucifer would just pull him by his ear or lock him in his room until he learned his lesson, but this time, he was beyond pissed. 

He was so angry and tired, that he wanted to do nothing more than kick him out so he would be gone from his life forever. He didn't give a shit about Asmo's love affairs. He knew Asmo needed to have sex to literally live, but why did he felt the need to sneak out all the time? Why did he disobeyed the house rules? Why did he got in trouble most of the time when he charmed someone? Didn't he know he was causing nothing but trouble for him? 

His head was thumping with an ache that night, he was sick. His nose was blocked, and his limbs hurt whenever he moved them. He also felt nauseous whenever he got up and felt his head spin. His throat was sore and dry, yet, he still found the strenght in himself to talk to him.

"Asmo... What do you think you're doing?" Lucifer says and leans on the wall next to him to keep himself from collapsing on the floor. He heard footsteps in the middle of the night and decided to check it out, despite of his body's protests. What if someone broke in? What if his stupid brothers were up to something again? 

His tired head was filled with so many "what if"s, that it made him furious to learn it was just Asmodeus, trying to sneak out to fuck a random dude he met the club today.

Asmodeus flinched and turned around hesitantly. "...Hi there, Lucifer... Um... I was just..."

"...You were going to meet someone, weren't you?" Lucifer says, cursing at how low and weak his voice sounds. He put a hand over his head. He was burning up. No wonder he felt so cold and shivered so much. 

"...I was." Asmodeus looks at him, curious as to why Lucifer seemed different. He was fine during dinner, was he simply sleepy? No, Lucifer would never allow himself to be seen like this. "I wanted to have some fun you know~ I can't pull it down once it rises like the sun... Or would you like to help me instead?"

Lucifer threw one of his slippers at Asmodeus to shut him up. "...Come to your senses... You were going to whore yourself out again. Father, what am I going to do..." Lucifer says and rests his head on the wall, trying to keep eye contact with him. 

"Excuse me?" Asmodeus takes a step to his left to avoid the slipper. It hits the door with a loud "PLAT" and falls on the floor. He goes onto a defense mode immedietly, it didn't really effect him when someone he never met before called him a whore but... Lucifer never said anything like that to him before. "Just who are you calling a whore? I'm just having fun."

"You, who else" Lucifer lowers his head and coughs a few times. "...If you're just having fun, then I'm guessing it won't be that big of a difference if I kicked you out... You can always spend the night over at someone you charmed. Right?"

"Lu- What the fuck Lucifer?" Asmodeus gets closer to him. "Are you serious? You can't just kick me out like that! You know I'm the Avatar of Lust, right? This is my whole thing!"

Lucifer just pushes him to the door. "That "whole thing" is causing nothing but trouble for me!" He winces when his throat hurts. He can't even raise his voice like this? That was going to be a problem. "Asmodeus, I don't want to hear you riding a random demon in this house at 1 AM... I don't want to deal with a random demon girl's pregnancy and child support again. You always manage to get yourself into trouble! Aren't you tired? Well, I am tired! I'm beyond pissed, I have no patience left for you anymore! It's the 3rd time this week that I caught you trying to sneak out, Asmodeus..." 

Lucifer rubs his throat lets himself rest a bit, not catching Asmodeus' eyes. Asmodeus on the other hand, felt his heart drop to his feet at Lucifer's words. Was he really that big of a bother to the family? Was he needed at all? Did anyone eanted him in this house?  
The only answer he could think of was "no". 

"...If you want to get out this much, you can. But don't think I'll let a whore like you inside this house if you take a step outside of that door.

\---

Solomon got out of the bath with a towel wrapped around his waist. Asmodeus was way too quiet all of a sudden, and he knew nothing would come out of it if he let him be. Hesitantly, he opened his door and stared inside his room. Asmodeus was laying down on his bed, shivering slightly.

"...Asmodeus?" He said and walked to his bed. Asmodeus was awake, but he didn't seem to have the necessary energy to say anything. He looked over at Solomon but buried his face back to the pillow after a few seconds. 

"Are you crying?" He says and sits next to him. Solomon and Asmodeus didn't have the best of best relationships out there, but it wasn't the time to care about that now. Asmodeus never shed tears besides tears of pure pleasure, so something must've happened if he was crying at Solomon's bed of all places. Asmodeus scoffs and turns away from him, hiding his face.

"...Alright. I won't force you to talk." Solomon says and rubs his shoulder, and proceeds to get up. He stares back when Asmodeus holds his wrist.

"Stay." Asmodeus says and tugs a little. "I don't want to be alone right now."

"I need to put some clothes on first."

"Does it make a difference?" 

Solomon pauses. "...I guess so." And lays down next to him. It wasn't like they never shared a bed before, this bed has been the host to many nights they spend together in passion. But they never saw each other has lovers. They were just two different people, looking for some fun, or attention on some nights. They met up, satisfied each other's needs and slept, but the following mornings would always be empty. Hollow. Even the dying sun outside would shine depressingly... Then, Asmodeus would get up, take a shower, get dressed, and get put before anyone else woke up. Solomon would wake up in hopes to see Asmodeus next to him, just to see that he was no longer there.

Asmodeus puts his hands over Solomon's chest and slowly strokes his shoulders before sighing and burning his head between his neck and shoulder. He then wrapped his arms around him. Solomon hugged him back and pulled him closer, stroking his hair. 

Asmodeus felt his cheeks getting wet again and gripped him even tighter, his heart was painfully heavy inside his chest. Honestly, he didn't even know why he got so sad over a stupid insult Lucifer said when he was obviously not himself. Lucifer knew Asmodeus would come back regardless. But why?

The answer might be hidden in his past.  
The moment he fell... After the suffocating smell of burnt feathers and flesh dissappeared, a feeling he was unfamiliar to covered his whole body, especially his belly and lower reigons. It hurt and burned, but it felt... pretty good. He felt needy and embarassed, he wanted to do something about it, but he didn't know what. He was the embodiment of Chasity, even though he knew how some things worked to an extent, he never knew the same effect could be done using your right or left hand. He had no idea what to do, he was so young and pure. 

In panic, he ran through the woods he fell in, and tried to find Lucifer. He wanted to ask him what to do, he wanted him to hug him and tell him everything will be alright again. He wanted to be touched, he... wanted attention. He wanted and craved for it so bad, that he couldn't even sleep on most nights.

Being the prettiest angel in the Celestial Realm, he always got teased and cat called by other demons. He was now the Avatar of Lust, but he was still a virgin? Seriously? 

His first time was pretty eventful. He was excited and full of himself during the start of it, but started crying in the middle of it and asked to stop a couple of times, but the deed was already done. His body wasn't listening to him at all. He ended up craving for more and almost killed that man because he had so many rounds with him in one night. 

He was once a pure angel with a good reputation, and was loved by everyone. But the moment he fell, all the respect was gone and his reputation hit rock bottom. He tried to save himself by helping others and doing very un-demon-like activities, but there was no saving it. He was always seen as a sexual object instead. There were bets between famous politicians that who would get to have him first, he was harrased and groped many times, and he was almost never left alone. He couldn't tell anyone anything about this, even his own brothers... Over time, he just got used to it and began searching for these touches himself instead... He wasn't feeling good about himself at all. He tried to get his reputation better by having as many lovers as he could in the best way possible, ans managed to restore some of it back. He was known as the prettiest demon in the Devildom now, and you would be lucky if you got any attention from him. He was famous, he peaked everyone's intrest and hunger.

But back in his mind, he still felt disgusted of himself.  
He wanted his old life back.  
He never asked for this... He was so tired. And so afraid. He would still feel his heart swell up with anxiety whenever he shared his bed with someone else, but hid it so well that no one noticed it. He felt dirty. But he never managed to clean himself up with anything. 

Maybe...  
Just maybe...  
He was upset because Lucifer, his own brother, knew nothing about this.  
And acted like one of those strangers Asmodeus fought on a daily basis before his acceptance. 

"Solomon, I'm just... so tired... Please let me stay with you for a while..."


End file.
